Uke is like an electron. Not the electron of Classical Physics, a hard little ball of indivisible stuff following a predictable path; rather the electron of Quantum Mechanics, until observed neither here or there but both, following a path(?) seemingly of its own choosing.
When I interact with uke I can assume nothing, expect nothing, predict nothing. Assuming, expecting, predicting all distance me from now. Uke can be neither right or wrong. He can't move too early or late. He can't be ahead of the technique or behind the technique. He can only be where he is, doing what he's doing, from moment to moment. Being in the now requires that I simply accept what uke offers me at any given moment. In so doing we provide the fertile environment from which technique may grow.
The moment we connect there is no uke, no nage, no we. Connection is the key. Though our roles are opposite they are at the same time complimentary, each necessary for the entity we become to be fully realized. A coin has two sides. Imagine a coin with no depth. Where is the line dividing one side from the other? Where is the distinction that differentiates me from uke once we have begun to interact?