One Hundred and Eighty-seven

This is not the post I had planned to write. When I began Being, Essence & Motion my intent was to share my experience of Aikido with whoever stumbled across my blog and found the recollections my journey interesting enough to spend some time reading them. The choice to keep this narrative in the first person is deliberate. This structure seems the most logical given that I simply want to relate how the study of Aikido has affected and continues to affect me. It also affords me the most ample opportunity to avoid the words "you" and "should" which seem all to prevalent in most of what I read about Aikido.

As anyone who has spent some time with me here probably knows, I consider myself a teacher of Aikido in only the loosest sense of the word. I am, first and foremost, a story teller. And the story I tell is of my time upon this path called Aikido. I share my learning experience with the kind folks who come to our dojo to find their own Aikido. Mary has been studying with me for twenty-three years, Dora, Charley, Jocelyn, Linda (the oldest living member of our group at 66) and Alice are all approaching the twenty year mark. All of my students, no matter their level of experience, have something to teach me and I am so grateful that they are willing to allow me to learn from them.

As I began to write what I originally intended to write an image of someone, from whom I have learned much though we have never met except in the pixilated world of the internet, popped into my head. His name is Francis Takahashi. From what I have read of his writings on AikiWeb I find him to be a man of strong opinions gently presented who manages to always enter a thread, no matter how heatedly being discussed, with a voice both reasonable and compassionate. His method of presentation is truly inspiring, bringing to life the true spirit of Aiki. This post is the result of that momentary diversion from the ill thoughts I had been harboring and planning to write about. Thank you Francis.

One Hundred and Eighty-six

Me, a blank canvas, a few brushes, a pallet and some tubes of oil paint. That's it. There are times when I'll go in with an idea that I want to render; other times I'll just start with a sky and follow where the painting leads me. Even when I have an idea to begin with the end result always looks substantially different. I have found that the needs of the work cannot be ignored. The painting always grows out of my interaction with my materials; but at the same time calls me to move in a certain direction. A painting is always more than the sum of its parts.

Me, a partner and a mat surface. That's it. There are times when we practice a prearranged routine employing a specific technique; other times we'll start with an attack and see what unfolds. Even when we our practice is prearranged the end result is always a unique rendering of our motion in time and space. I have found that the logic of our combined movement cannot be ignored. The technique grows out of our movement; but at the same time calls to us to move in such a way as to assure its appearance. Aikido is always more than the sum of its parts.

One Hundred and Eighty-five

We move before the motion begins,
silent signals sent and received
trigger acknowledgement of impending aggression,
our paths though predetermined
nevertheless are always different.

At the the tipping point of our interaction
when we've come together our movements coincident,
in frictionless agreement
we rush headlong to the logical conclusion of our encounter.

With correct feeling there's no need to control
congruence is coalescing,
our motions in sync conflict converted to cooperation.

One Hundred and Eighty-four

For as long as I viewed the person across from me on the mat as an attacker I had something to win or lose as a result of our encounter. After all, attackers attack do they not? And attacks are launched with the intention of gain; be it control of the opponent's behavior, the infliction of injury, the imposition of one's will on another, intimidation, the inducement of fear... As the defender I had a very specific duty to not give up anything to this person who wanted to wrest whatever it was from me by force. A very simple calculus; the attacker wants and so attacks, I seek to deny the wants of the attacker and so defend. A binary outcome then, I prevail and win or the attacker prevails and I lose. I could not see it any other way. There was, however, a small problem.

I was learning a martial art the philosophy of which, as was slowly presented to me, was totally at odds with my ideas regarding how to deal with a conflict situation. I mean really, harmonizing, blending, least possible harm, being one with the attacker and all that? Please, someone attacks you blow his ass away and be done with it... no? Concepts like keep one point, progressive relaxation, positive mind, correct posture (that one, at least, made sense right off), not relying on muscle power to overcome an opponent... seemed more like guidelines for meditation than a way to fight. Aikido is a martial art, right? And martial arts are all about fighting and overcoming, right?

What drew me to Aikido in the first place was the promise of Power. Power that wasn't generated by muscles, something I already had plenty of thanks to years of dedicated lifting. No this Power was a product of something called Ki and could be learned and applied by anyone. Small people could defend themselves against much larger folks by using the energy of the attack against the attacker, taking the attackers balance and with a calm unified mind and body throw them with ease. Well, so the pitch went in all the books about Aikido I had read. Trouble was, however, this Power wasn't something that could be discovered solely by repetitious practice of technique. I had to dig deeper than the physical practice, had to open myself up to new ideas about what it meant to be powerful.

So here I was having to, of all things, look inside myself; forced to wade into the morass and face all the angels and demons running around in there. Gradually, as I sorted through the mess, something coherent and solid emerged from the maelstrom; my center and the first inklings of what it felt like to have mind and body coordinated. As I became adept at conjuring up this "correct feeling", for in the early stages of my training it sure felt like conjuring, I could feel the changes being wrought in me. I experienced the very different strength that comes from having mind and body coordinated.

The most amazing change of all, at least on a personal level, was that I no longer saw the person opposite me as an attacker. After all how could I view the gift of that energy and trust my partner was giving me as an attack? With the dissolution of the partner as attacker image so too did I no longer see myself as a defender; having, I realized, nothing to defend. With no one attacking and nothing to defend I could see that there was no reason to fight. Protecting myself and fighting were no longer synonymous.

Since the first day I stepped on the mat my Aikido practice has continued to sculpt me. Along the way, in my role as an instructor I have come into contact with many people who have taken time out of their lives to share my study of Aikido. Most have moved on, some remain, some have gone on to become instructors themselves. Each person like a falling raindrop into a still pool of water, adds his or her own ripples to the pool and so Aikido spreads, one person at a time. Thus is the future of Aikido assured.

One Hundred and Eighty-three

Correct feeling can be viewed as an end state of sorts; an amalgamation of principles and practice. I like to think of correct feeling engendered by coordination of body/mind as correct feeling of primary degree. There are higher degrees of correct feeling. Correct feeling of secondary degree is coordinated body/mind/spirit. Correct feeling of tertiary degree is coordination of body/mind/spirit/universe.

Each degree of correct feeling is marked by an awakening. For me the awakening to coordination of body/mind didn't happen suddenly. It was a process, painfully slow at times, or so it seems now in retrospect, that unfolded over years of practice. At some point I was able to notice a marked difference in my Aikido, a sharply delineated change in how I felt on the mat and how my partners felt when practicing with me.

Currently I am in the process of awakening to coordination of body/mind/spirit. Having pretty much stumbled through the first level of correct feeling I was able to become aware of it only in hindsight. Now, thanks to that experience, I am aware of changes in myself much closer to real-time. And while the road ahead always seems to be leading me around a blind curve, I at least know I'm moving towards something; as David Bowman tells Dr. Haywood Floyd in 2010: Odyssey Two, "something wonderful".

So much to learn, and a whole life ahead of me to discover it.

One Hundred and Eighty-two

Correct feeling (a concept originated by, to the best of my knowledge, Maruyama Shuji Sensei, founder of Kokikai Aikido) is a quality I possess that is directly related to coordination of mind and body. So what is coordination of mind and body? Well, to begin with, coordination of mind and body isn't an either you have it or you don't proposition. There are varying degrees of coordination I may have depending on the circumstances. Generally, I am more coordinated when my mind is closer to "now" than when it isn't. My strongest possible state, at which I can perform closest to my realizable potential, is when correct feeling is maximized.

By way of review, my body is always perfectly in the moment (at now). While my mind is perfectly free to roam moments past and contemplate possible moments future it is permanently locked out of the current moment for two reasons. First, now has no extension in either space or time. So the question "how long is a moment?" is as meaningless as asking "how wide is a number on the real number line?". Second, my mind cannot directly experience reality, it must rely on sensory input to form an approximation of reality. This takes time which means moments have to pass before my mind catches up with the reality that was. The reality that is exists just slightly ahead of my perception of it.

Perfect coordination of mind and body would have both mind and body in the moment (at now) simultaneously. But, as can be seen in the preceding paragraph, this is for all practical purposes impossible. What is possible is for my mind to approach now virtually without limit, hence the varying degrees of mind/body coordination.

The degree of coordination of mind and body is the difference between now and my perception of it. Correct feeling then is seen to be a variable quality that is based on my degree of mind/body coordination at any given time. Correct feeling can be thought of as "strong" when the degree of mind/body coordination is high and "weak" when low.

Practicing Ki exercises allows me to: get in touch with how I feel when mind and body are coordinated to varying degrees, strengthen correct feeling by increasing the degree of mind/body coordination via repetitive iterations under increased force loads and learn to manipulate my degree of mind/body coordination by purposely shifting my awareness to and away from my center. Daily Ki development training has enhanced my Aikido and allowed me to experience Aikido on a deeper level that I would otherwise experience it without this practice.

One Hundred and Eighty-one

That I can directly experience correct feeling when I engage in Ki training via Ki exercises precludes a need for understanding how it works. Internalizing correct feeling enables me to not only replicate the results but, with continued training, strengthen my ability to do so under applications of increased force.

Correct feeling is a synergy of mind and body.

With correct feeling I am able to deal with forces applied to my body that would cause me to lose balance were I using muscle alone. With correct feeling I am able to realize my maximum potential and attain my strongest possible state. With correct feeling my structure becomes more dependable than my physical structure alone. With correct feeling I am able to maintain a calm mind and relaxed body when presented with a potentially stressful situation. With correct feeling Aikido happens in and of its own accord; I do not have to make it happen. With correct feeling I am able to move in concert with my partner without the need to control the encounter.

One Hundred and Eighty

Below I've listed all of the Ki development exercises that we practice at our dojo (it is possible that there are a couple that I have neglected to include; the list keeps growing as Mary and I look for ways to challenge ourselves and our students). We use these exercises as teaching tools to help students grow in the following areas: how to establish and enhance correct feeling associated with coordination of mind and body, development and strengthening of correct feeling while stationary or in motion, body core strengthening, introduction to technique basic movements, increased awareness of moving from the center, a way of moving such that the extremities arrive and leave last, establish and maintain a connection with a partner while stationary or in motion, having body parts move independently while simultaneously maintaining a unified structure, there's more but you get the idea. The exercises all are designed to have the student look inside and realize that strength is generated from the coordination of mind/body.

When I began my training I thought these exercises were to be used for warming up and pretty much missed the point. I'd go through the motions always looking to get to technique which I thought of as the real stuff. Looking back I laugh, realizing now that the very purpose of the exercises was the mind/body coordination that I was defeating in my zeal to get to technique practice. When that all changed I began to get "heavy"...

Ki Development Exercises

Solo –
1. Rowing motion
2. Ikkyo one direction
3. Ikkyo two directions
4. Ikkyo four directions
5. Ikkyo eight directions
6. Sayu undo
7. Sayu undo with side step
8. Swing arms side to side
9. Forward extension
10. Roll backward come back to sitting
11. Roll backward and stand
12. Wrist curl
13. Low wrist break
14. High wrist break
15. Wrist stretches
16. Tenkan
17. Irimi
18. Ude furi undo
19. Forward & back rolls (large & small)
20. Empty hand free movement

Partnered Stationary –
1. Unbendable arm
2. Immovable arm from outside
3. Immovable arm from inside
4. Weight underside
5. Vertical arm lift/pull
6. Collarbone push
7. Lower back push
8. Upper back push
9. Upper chest push
10. Kata tori push left & right stances
11. Kata tori push natural stance
12. Kata tori push one foot
13. Katate tori push left & right stances
14. Katate tori push natural stance
15. Katate tori push one foot
16. Ryote tori push left & right stances
17. Ryote tori push natural stance
18. Ryote tori push one foot
19. Upper arm grab bring along
20. Chin lift
21. Seiza front push
22. Seiza rear push
23. Seiza knee lift
24. Seiza hand lift
25. Seiza head push
26. Ukemi front push
27. Resist roll back and stand
28. Palm to palm stiff arm push left & right stances
29. Palm to palm stiff arm push natural stance
30. Palm to palm stiff arm push one foot
31. Palms to palms unbendable arm push left & right stances
32. Palms to palms unbendable arm push natural stance
33. Palms to palms unbendable arm push one foot
34. Suspend nage between 2 chairs (sitting on nage optional)
35. Random continuous pushing to different parts of nage's body

Partnered Motion –
1. Katate tori move uke backward
2. Katate tori draw uke in
3. Katate tori enter to uke’s side
4. Ryote tori move uke backward
5. Ryote tori draw uke in
6. Ryote tori enter to uke’s side
7. Two uke katate ryote tori weight underside sink to the mat
8. Ikkyo exercise through partner’s arm (up and down)
9. Lift partner’s arm after ikkyo exercise
10. Kata tori tenkan, partner tests after the turn
11. Tenkan ….partner says stop somewhere in the action and then tests immediately for one point
12. Nage does any throw and uke gets up and tests for one point
13. Bring uke along without forcing
14. Weight underside 2 uke nage moving and stopping
15. Random continuous pushing to different parts of nage's body while nage moving

Solo Weapons –
1. Multi step random forms with jo staff
2. Multi step random forms with bokken
3. Multi step random forms with two bokken
4. Free movement with jo staff/bokken/2 bokken
5. 1000 strikes
6. Day long bokken/jo staff carry

Partnered Weapons –
1. Lead uke w/ jo staff
2. Partnered jo staff leading
3. Push/pull bokken
4. Lift jo staff
5. Push down on jo staff
6. Push jo staff into nage
7. Pull jo staff away from nage