Eighteen

That which I am always was, always will be, though in other guises yet to be revealed.

As I have grown older the reality of my mortality has pounded ever louder on my door. I have begun to think about what it is that ‘I' am and what makes me so keenly aware of my own existence. I am me in this form for the briefest of time. When that time is up I'll cease to be me as I am and…. what?

Is that it? Will I just sort of unwind; my body decompose and its constituents return to the universe to be reconfigured in some other guise at some other time and place? And what of me that isn't my body; my awareness? Is awareness simply a function of being human and alive? Does awareness arise from the interaction of chemicals in my brain? Or is there more to it?

Aikido training touches more than my body. It hones my spirit as well. While training I am afforded a glimpse of something larger than myself of which I am an integral part. In my view of the world, we as human beings are part of a larger consciousness that is struggling to awaken and grow; to take its rightful place among other such entities which in turn will give rise to an even larger consciousness etc. If we manage to outlast our self-destructive tendencies and get off this planet to expand throughout our galactic neighborhood we will eventually reach a critical mass and so give birth to what we are destined to become.