Fifteen

n my view, the universe I find myself created from is also a product of my creation. Everything I learn, see, hear, feel, smell and taste gets combined within me, the result being my view of the universe. When I am sad and depressed the universe appears dark, cold and inhospitable. Conversely, when I am happy and uplifted the universe welcomes me with light, warmth and abundance.

Aikido training teaches me these things. Before Aikido I lived in a universe that was something other than me; a large mostly empty place in which I was less than a grain of sand on a beach. Now I can see that I am not in the universe at all, I am of it. The realization of the difference between ‘in' and ‘of' has had a profound effect on me. Aikido training is teaching me to cultivate peace within myself and hence bring peace to my universe. I believe that this is what O-Sensei discovered; that if enough people grow peace within themselves the world would perforce become a more peaceful place in which to live. Inner peace begets individual freedom which can be very frightening to some. Perhaps this is why some folks seek to suppress the idea of Aikido as a way of peace and harmony.

A while back I had to deal with a nagging back/rib injury, the pain of which waxed unbearable and waned to almost non-existent. When the pain rose the world seemed a hostile place. The light too bright, the temperature either too hot or too cold, strange smells assailed me in most unpleasant ways. Conversely, the world seemed much friendlier and more accommodating when the pain lessened. You get the general idea.

I found that while on the mat practicing the formerly hostile world would seem less so and my pain would fade into the background. As I immersed myself in the class I became more aware of my integration with the universe and less aware of my self-imposed differentiation from it. While isolated from the universe my pain was proportionally larger due to the relative smallness of my self. Becoming one with a much larger whole reduced the effect the pain had on me. I had, in effect, redefined the parameters of my universe (my self) and the superimposition of my pain thereon was spread out over a much larger being and diluted.